did you ever wondered why I did not reach out?
at some point i wanted to,
but i realized i had progressed a little bit since the last time we’d met,
talking to you will only erase all of that,
cause every interaction with you,
little or none, still jitters my heart to the core.

i guess i do feel pain,
and my heart does too,
imagine fixing something and leaving it in a worst state,
imagine giving something someone to hold on to, and take it right then and there.

you’ve had given me hope in life,
and had taken it as if you’re the only one entitled for that,
that you were the somehow the judge, jury and the executioner,
you were the hope and doom bringer.

i was there,
and and i was present,
as you split my heart into thousand different pieces,
as it’s dying,
i tried my best to pull it altogether,

to make it somehow resemble what it was once was,
a heart that was ready to love and to care,
a heart for a human that was ready to live life again.

but rome wasn’t built in a day,
i still shed every miniscule pieces of my heart every day,
i still wonder why i had to meet you & leave you at my worst.

maybe you did not realize it before,
but you shattered every bit of my being when you took that away.
it was the very reason why i held on for so long.

every interaction thereafter was just pain,
but my admiration and love for you was taking over,
until it ran out, and things had to be ended.

i only wanted to admire and love people,
i guess it was just too much of an ask from you.

i hope we never cross paths ever again.
i will always thank you for the time you gave and we spent.

but i sincerely hope that we never cross paths in this life ever again.
i’m getting better.

please don’t come back and destroy me once again.

• master